regina
by Rozewater
Summary: dear god, how he loved her - in a way that made no logical sense. - zero/yuki -OLD-


**Rosie Says:** Hello! Welcome to my first step into writing for the VK fandom. This idea came to me shortly after Zero and Yuki's near-miss of a kiss. And seeing how Zero fascinates me, I decided to write this little character study about him.

PS: If the title doesn't make sense to you, I suggest you brush up on your Latin~

**Characters:** _Zero, Yuki_

**Universe:** _Anime, I suppose. I haven't read much manga._

**Rating:** _T for intense situations_

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><p>It was an obsessive sort of thing, although he'd never frame it in words such as those. Obsessions were for the weak. Needy. Those who couldn't control themselves. And if there was one thing Zero had far too much of in his life, it was watching everything spiral out of his control.<p>

But he couldn't deny it, deep down. It was the type of thought that would haunt him in the night, with his empty face hooked on the bedside wall. His gaze would trace the cracks in the plaster, mind going dangerously blank, and her face would glow behind closed eyelids.

Dear God, how he loved her - in a way that made _no_ logical sense.

Yuki certainly had to know. She had always been too innocent for her own good, but even that couldn't hide what was so obvious. She spent far too much of her time worrying about others instead of herself. In all of her motherly fretting over him, she was bound to have caught on.

Hell. Perhaps she'd known all along and just hadn't said anything. Maybe she didn't want to hurt his feelings with the 'just childhood friends' card. Maybe she was scared shitless he'd go into a rage if she turned him down.

Or maybe she felt the same way and was simply biding her time.

That thought was the most terrifying of all.

With an hour to go until sunrise, Zero pulled on his uniform and walked out the dormitory door.

He tried to ignore the shaking in his hands as he walked towards the Academy. He was getting more in tune with his newly heightened senses, more quickly able to sense his needs, but that didn't mean he wanted to fulfill them. A small pack of pills bounced tauntingly in his pocket. Zero had half a mind to toss the blood capsule case across the dewy school lawn, but knew it would be pointless. As much as he hated the things, they were what kept him from lapsing when hot-blooded humans were present.

Humans like Yuki, who'd sneak up on him in dark corridors, pulling the hair away from her neck with a _you sure you don't need a little drink? I don't want you to feel hungry_…

His pale hands flung themselves to his throat. Breath coming in ragged gasps, they shook against his burning skin while he squeezed his eyes shut. Damn that girl! Did she have any idea what the mere _thought_ of her did to him?

Sometimes, Zero didn't know what hurt worse: desiring her as a man, or desiring her as a vampire.

He was glad it was still dark outside. No Day Class students would see as he stumbled into the shadows of a tree, leaning heavily against the trunk. He crouched down, still clutching his neck, as if he could squeeze the bloodlust right out of his system. If only it were that easy. If only he wasn't some untrained monster.

"Zero?"

And like that, everything got ten times worse.

Zero flung himself around, still coiled like an animal ready to spring. Her silhouette was black in the blue pre-dawn. The sky was just starting to glow as she stood stalk-still, eyes horrified, and trying miserably to hide it.

"I'm s-sorry," Yuki stammered, her body shivering somewhere between running and staying.

Sometimes, Zero wished she listened more to her natural instincts.

"I just heard the floor creak when you left your room… And, and I was worried-"

"Go home." Zero hissed out the words, trying to keep his composure and failing. Nothing could help him now. He could _hear_ the blood pulsing through her jugular, the sound creating an imaginary visual for his eyes. Like a river for a parched man, the very idea made him shake even harder…

"You're thirsty, aren't you?"

Zero's mind was starting to blur. Human hormones pounded with vampire longings, creating a deadly cocktail in his brain. He collapsed to the grassy floor. She was _walking towards him_. What the _hell_ was wrong with her?

_Stupid stupid stupid stupid girl-_

It had been hard enough resisting the thought of her, his subconscious mind picking up the smell as she followed from the dorms. Perhaps Yuki was suicidal, he mused, as she kneeled down beside him. Certainly no one with a will to live would approach a starving, reckless, untamed-

Her soft palm cupped his cheek. He held his breath, eyes wide.

"Why won't you let me help you?" She was so thin and light as she crawled into his lap like she belonged there. He watched as she blushed slightly, still teenager enough to be embarrassed by the closeness. Figured she was more worried about the awkwardness than potentially dying. It was Yuki they were talking about, after all. "Here." With a flick of her wrist, she swept the chocolate hair away from her throat – just like in his daydreams. "Is that better?"

As if her _hair_ was the reason he hadn't pounced on her _ages_ ago.

It felt so disgustingly, addictively sexual as she offered herself to him – like some heathen sacrifice.

He roughly shoved her off his lap. Yuki tumbled against a tree root with a yelp.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Zero's words were a fine whisper. It took too much energy to talk. He closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the trunk behind him. It hit with a satisfying _thunk_.

"Why do you always fight me when I try to make you feel better?"

He couldn't see her, but he could feel the pout in her voice, big brown eyes rejected and confused. The thought almost made him smile.

And with that flicker of happiness he could feel his heartbeat slowing. The cool morning air flowed between them, filling the space with cold wind that didn't smell of blood or desire. The burning settled into the pits of his chest. There it was easier to control. The absence of her warmth made goosebumps erupt painfully along his arms.

But he'd rather have Yuki ten feet away and unharmed than in his arms and half-drained. How come she couldn't understand that?

"Some things are more important than blood for a damn vampire."

It broke his heart when she looked so confused. "What could be more powerful than that?"

_You._


End file.
